Carl Jung and the work of others who were inspired by his way of looking at life inform much of my understanding of and discussion about midlife. Jung's belief was that the midlife crisis is a spiritual crisis. I feel that midlife is entering into the heart of a scared question - that it is a deep dialogue with the self – about who we have been, who we are becoming and what it means to us to have a meaningful life.
Jung identified five stages of midlife development. Where are you in this journey?
Accommodation: This is the context in which the midlife process begins. It essentially precedes the midlife journey. It is characterized by the meeting of the needs of others, the looking to others for identity and for a sense of self.
Separation: In this early period of the midlife journey, one begins to reject the accommodated self. This can manifest as some of the "acting out", or at least the impulse to do so, that characterizes the classic "midlife crisis". This is when we may first begin to notice the emotional, physical and psychological changes that are happening in us.
Liminality: These next two stages comprise the juicy time of midlife! It can be a very uncomfortable or unsettling time. It can also be a time a great spaciousness and exploration. To me, it is the most interesting time of midlife and where I focus a lot of my attention. Life can either feel directionless and be characterized by restlessness. Or, it can be a time of meandering, of curiosity, of self-discovery. It can be like a Sabbath walk with one's soul. We are out of site of land and are pitched into the depth of our being and confronted with things that go bump in the night of our psyche. If we can go with the flow, we can move into greater intimacy with our true being and come full circle to a deeper relationship with ourselves.
Reintegration: This is the time or working out who we are now and becoming comfortable with that identity. This is a time of extreme creativity and generativity.
Individuation: The final stage in the process is one of recognizing and integrating the conflicts that exist within us and achieving a balance between them.
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